Random Thoughts #43

Teach the pupils and students about sex in a comprehensive manner so that they will discuss sex and sexuality in an open, informative environment – you said no.

Now seven teenage girls have been suspended and expelled from the boarding house after being caught talking about sex using cellphones.

Ironically, the school at the center of this travesty of school regulations, Ejisuman SHS was at the center of a sexual abuse and sexual misconduct scandal a couple of years ago. I remember this case: even getting the teachers suspended became a huge rigmarole of bureaucracy, hypocrisy and enabling of sexual predators. It took a sustained social media campaign championed by the Coalition Against Sexual Abuse (CASA) and other gender activist bodies for the teachers to be dismissed (which is a bittersweet victory as formal charges were not pressed against them).

They say “the wheels of justice grind slowly” but when it comes to sexually curious teenage girls, the wheels move very quickly.

First and foremost – how are you going to tell yourself that you want to educate students for the modern age when you won’t even allow students to use mobile phones in a responsible manner? And then the Ministry of Education will bitch about how students are struggling to compete with their counterparts overseas; meanwhile these two bodies can’t even sit down and discuss modern guidelines to use the technology available to help students succeed.

Secondly – according to the expulsion letter, the teenage girls were “intentionally uploading a video on the social media where unprintable words that border on sex were spewed out.” Teenage girls were talking about sex. Teenage. Girls.  Why is this shocking?

Oh wait, I forgot that I live in a country where girls are expected to be asexual virgins with no inkling or curiousity about sex (menstruation excluded) until they reach marrying age where they are then supposed to be “ladies in the streets and freaks in the sheets.”

Like I told a few friends when the brouhaha over the CSE erupted : “the kids are having sex already – look at the movies they are exposed to and the soap operas they watch at all hours because no Ghanaian media house stringently enforces the watershed rule about when adult content should be aired plus in most cases, Saturday mornings are when the omnibus versions of the soapies air.”

Not to mention the lecherous Uncles, older nephews and  neighbourhood boys trying to  increase their ‘body count’ by coercing or raping teenage girls.

When it comes to teenagers, remove your rose-tinted glasses, assume they are having sex already and go ahead of the curve – create a discreet, non-judgmental environment where they can discuss sex and sexuality in a healthy, informative manner.

This is not rocket science people.

Finally, one lasting impact of this expulsion from the boarding house is the resulting shame the authorities hope to instill in their teenage charges.

The shame of knowing about sex.

The shame of enjoying sex.

The shame of heaving a healthy sex life.

The shame of learning about sex safe.

The shame of owning your sexual agency.

The shame of openly talking about sexual pleasure in a private conversation.

So many adult women have deep rooted shame about their sexuality and are uncomfortable about owning their sexual agency because of incidences like these. And its one of the reasons why too many women still erroneously believe that having sex with their partners is a gift to them (their partners) and a means to an end and not something they should derive pleasure from.

Which of course leads to the wider discussion on why women spend hard cash on vagina tightening washes, douches and other quacks so their pussies will be tight and smell like roses.

But I digress.

Seven teenage girls have been expelled from the boarding house of Ejisuman SHS because they talked about sexual issues using mobile phones.

If this isn’t a confirmation of how ass-backwards and draconian the regulations at GES are, then nothing is.

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